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t3knomanser's Fustian Deposits

The Joys of Offshore

How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy

run the fuck away

Mad science gone horribly, horribly wrong(or right).

The Joys of Offshore

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johnny cash
I designed an application recently. It's a really simple application, as such things go: Read a record from a database, send the record to the mainframe, and flip a flag on the record to mark it done. Tack on a little logging and error handling, and you've got a very basic project. So basic, in fact, that my boss decides that it's a waste of my time. I'll put the design together and we'll ship it to an offshore contractor.

Now, I've seen the way offshore fucks up projects. So I sit down, and try and figure out how best to prevent this sort of blow up. My solution? I write the program myself, mostly. I supplied design diagrams, documentation, and about 40% of the code, already implemented so that it matches the design. There are a bunch of blanks in the code marked with "TODO: Open the connection to the database and fetch the next record. Map the column values according to the tech spec, a la: 'rec.sMfgCode = dbrecord("sMfgCode")'*".

Now, it's entirely possible that the developer might screw up filling in those blanks. Mind you, this stuff is (theoretically) basic knowledge for a contractor, but hey- it could happen? But I was surprised by the scope of the offshore fuckup. The developer completely ignored the sample code I gave him. I did most of his job for him and he just pissed it down his leg and reimplemented the application. He ignored my design diagram, didn't create the classes I told him to, and generally fucked the entire thing up.

Also: no comments, bad coding practices, ignorance of key syntax elements, and a horrible horrible habit of doing lots of switching logic instead of using OOD and the config file to control app behavior.

I hate offshore.

*No, I didn't name the database columns. They really used Hungarian Notation. I hate Hungarian Notation
  • I hate offshore.

    You have no idea. I just finished dealing with a situation where a client of mine had to pay $24k in extortion money to his former programmer in India because the guy took his site down and crippled it. Nevermind the fact that nobody bothered to listen to me when I was railing on about backup servers for the last several months. =/

    Now he's got guys in China taking it over. I'm hopeful that they're going to be a little better. They at least seem to talk the talk rather than just spewing garbage, so that's a start.
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