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t3knomanser's Fustian Deposits

When the Wheels Fall Off the "Straight Talk Express"

How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy

run the fuck away

Mad science gone horribly, horribly wrong(or right).

When the Wheels Fall Off the "Straight Talk Express"

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For some time now, we've all been watching the wheels fall off of John McCain's campaign for President. First, we had the former POW doing a 180º turn on torture. Then a long chain of Bush apologist cock-sucking. For awhile, I thought, maybe cognitive dissonance was driving him slowly mad. After bad Beach Boys parodies and his embarrassing IED jokes on "The Daily Show", I began to doubt that theory. Surely, there must be something else going on.

And then it dawned on me. John McCain doesn't know what a condom is for. He doesn't, for example, know that it can prevent the spread of AIDS and many other sexually transmitted diseases. He left his first wife by courting another woman while still married. Knowing what we know about the sexual habits of soldiers under fire (the millennia long tradition of the "camp follower") and the sexual habits of politicians (nearly every President has kept a mistress or twelve), I think it's safe to say that John McCain has had a few indiscretions.

I'm suggesting that John McCain has had sexual encounters with potentially unidentifiable partners. By his own words, he doesn't know what condoms are for. Through that lens, I think we can clearly identify what is actually wrong with John McCain. His brain is being slowly reduced to cottage cheese through the ravages of tertiary syphilis. Suddenly, it all makes sense.
  • Somehwere his first wife is in a paddle cell with a scar on her forehead mumbling "he's a prince, he's a prince!"
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