If you flip waaaaay back in time, you'll see a little adventure involving a Dragon living in a giant Crane, and wanting to move into the dorm building that it was building. And it did... mostly. See, it was a bit unfortunate in that I failed it- it wanted help moving into the building, and I didn't. And as a result, it was only partially there. Kinda zoned, stoned and unaware. Unware of us, unaware of itself- lombotomized.
Is it any coincidence that on the ride to Siena, Apples and I passed the very same crane (distinctive in it's size and color and just... disticintive)? Is it any coiincidence, that Chuck, who with the help of Apples' staff picked up the last shards of the Dragon, and that we deposited them in the building that wants, to be the dragon?
There's a the Tick sitcom now on Fox. Ohhhh rapture!
And so the Dragon is feeling much, much better. I have to pay some respects to it tomorrow.
And... ummm... this Monastasism is hard. I guess that's kinda the point. It's wierd, I used to carry very distinctive staff... in both my Sophomore and Junior years. One was a cane sized, laquered and covered with intracite designs. The other was as tall as my shoulder, with a garnet embedded in it and some tasteful carvings. This one is in between the two... and plain. Little singed where I held it over the gas stove (fire fixation in it). And this one seems to draw all the attention. Or maybe I'm more aware of it. I think that's it. I used to be.. an "Ubermensch", self directing and thumbing my nose at those that would hold me back, and goddammit! I'm getting into that again.
I have to be careful though... because... people, as a whole, get waaaay too hung up on means to ends. Spinoza was talking about that. See, humans see everything as a means to an end. Fish exist to feed us. Air exists for us to breathe.
Quote of the week:
'manda: "but to say a problem isn't meant to be solved... is to deny 1. science, and 2. progress in any sense"
'manda: "physically or emotionally."
Remy: "Then Fuck Science, and Fuck Progress then. I'd much rather be happy."
I have the best friends in the world, but Drew and Andy are going to be hard with this whole monastasism thing. They're... depressingly mundane sometimes. They kept pressing about it, and I finally broke down and was like, "It's part of a Chaos Magick observance," to which Drew responded, "Remy, WhiteWolf Mage isn't real."
And I agree, Whitewolf mage isn't real- it's an interpretation of reality though. And honestly, it's a good way to understand the way magick works in the world.
From now on though, the reply is, "It's an elborate joke, and you're the punchline."
That's actually an accurate description of Chaos Magick.
I failed when I tried to complete the "Beyond the Wall of Sleep" right. Something else to work on.
I didn't do my homework at all... though if you read up on my weekend, you can understand why not. So I have to have my presentation notes done for 9pm tomorrow so I can discuss Nietzche intelligently, and I've got to have my Database project hashed out by 11am tuesday.
The DB project that I haven't the foggiest understanding of how to do.
It is from this moment that things get better. This moment is the turning point, and it is at this time I stand on the Way; I cease my sitting; I rise, and I walk. I walk with the feet that are my flesh. I change with the hands that are my flesh. I see with the eyes that are my eyes, and I believe with a heart that's just learning. I dream with a mind that is mine.
I am human. I am unpredicatable. I am the Chaos that Creates, I am the Chaos taht Destroys, I am the Order that Maintains, and I am the Order that Decays. Nothing can be Created or Destroyed, simply because the SUBSTANCE is always the same. PATTERNS can be changed or destroyed or created... but not really... they just change.
I'm a panthiest.
I'm an anarchist.
And I am... from this moment on... going to be happy. Not because I am a sucsess, but because I fail. Not because my needs are filled, but because I lack. Not because I am loved, but because I am hated.
Becuase happiness is NOT a call for stasis! It is a call for CHANGE! The happiness of the "fulfilled" is not happiness... it is complacency... contentment. NEVER be content. Never by fulfilled. Want, and want with granduer, want the unattainable, and when you get it, appreciate it for what it is, but want MORE. Dream! When the Gods say, "Eat not that fruit!" I say DINE! Feast upon it. Don't take a single bite and fear the consequenses! Take that fruit and shout out, "I have taken what you would have denied me, not because it is right, but because I have a right to know!"
far too much Nietzche for Remy.
And right now... I'm going to take a piece of tape, and bind the remainder of this weekend's wisdom to me, despite what Siena would have happen to me!