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t3knomanser's Fustian Deposits

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How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy

run the fuck away

Mad science gone horribly, horribly wrong(or right).

Advertisers, Please Note

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johnny cash
If you are a vendor that uses any of the following types of ads, please note: I will not partake of any service you offer. I will, if I feel like it, click on the ad to cost you money, but I will not purchase any product or service from you, because you obviously have no respect for my intelligence, and no security in the quality of your product; if your product was quality, and you thought I was an intelligent consumer, why would you need to be distracting and annoying to get my attention?

  • Sound. Often, I use my computer to listen to music. Or perhaps video files embedded in a page. Your ads interfere with this. Stop it.

  • Pop-ups. We have popup blockers for a reason. I use mine, but people have gotten more creative about hiding them behind JavaScript so that they lurk, waiting for you to click on the page. This is even more annoying, and will not be tolerated.

  • Pop-overs. Oh, good god people. I'm trying to read a web page, and you think jumping infront of what I'm reading will endear you to me? I angrily search for that close button, without even looking at the ad content.

  • Dialog-box imitators. Somehow, I doubt my operating system is going to pop up a box that alerts me to a million dollars I may have won. I especially don't think my Mac is going to pop up a Windows dialog box. You're preying on the ignorant, and the fact that I see your ad implies that you think I'm one of them.

  • Excessive Animation. This includes motion, color flashing, and anything else designed to be distracting and attention getting. Hey, guess what, it works. I notice your ad. I notice your ad because it ANNOYS me. Hence, I add you to my list of vendors I will never do business with. Stop it.

  • Spam. Your unsolicited junk email is named after a meat product produced out of the parts of animals you don't want to know exist. Nuff said.

  • Comment spam. Like regular spam, but in blogs. Same problems apply.

To reiterate, I will not do business with anyone who attempts to advertise in this manner. Be professional, respectful, and creative, and I'm far more likely to click on your ad to purchase something than if I were annoyed by it. Then I'll click the ad just to cost you money.
  • Spam. Your unsolicited junk email is named after a meat product produced out of the parts of animals you don't want to know exist.

    It is truly disheartening to see that there are those who have not, as yet, come to know the glory of that which is Spam®...*shakes head sadly (and gingerly, for there is a half dollar size hole in it)*

    May you one day know the glory/heartburn/indigestion/gristle goodness!

    -Cheryl, card carrying member of The Spam Fan Club since 2001/fan since childhood
  • OH...and happy happy matrimony!
  • Oh, I love Spam. I do not, however, want to know too many details about the products used to make it.
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