How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy (t3knomanser) wrote,
How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy

Okay botards, shut the hell up.

The video game industry is rife with a conspiracy. A conspiracy to turn America's children into sexual deviants!

That's right parents, it's not just Rockstar games any more. The video game moguls are shoving smut down your children's throats cleverly disguised in such harmless seeming titles as the Sims 2. We are looking at a clear case of perversion for profit!.


Okay botards, let's lay this out. In the case of the latest installment of the violence ridden Grand Theft Auto series, wherin, your computer generated character is expected to perform multiple carjackings, run down cops, blast gang members with rockets and AK-47s, recieve sexual favors from, and then kill prostitues, there's a problem- a mod can unlock some hidden features, where your character can have sex with a naked female model, in a variety of positions. Oddly, your character remains fully clothed during this process.

Obviously, the fact that such material was distributed as part of the game, despite the fact that it could only be unlocked by installing a patch created by some astute hacker, is a ploy to let this seemingly innocent game corrupt our children with pr0n.


Oh, but it gets worse. In the Sims, the scenes that involve one of the on-screen puppets for your sadistic pleasure, an overblown Tomagatchi for you to manipulate, the game blurs out the nakedness with a rather comical blur. According to this botard, that blur, which can be removed by a cheat code, reveals full anatomic detail. Actually, the game makers point out that the "anatomic detail" is about on the Barbie and Ken level of correctness.

This educated barrister's response? "The blur is an admission that even the 'Ken and Barbie' features should not be displayed." That's right folks, not only is Electronic Arts and Rockstar games attacking your children's fragile little minds, so is the Mattel corporation. A simple hack, with instructions freely available on the Internet, explains how to remove the clothing from your Ken and Barbie dolls, thus revealing the simulated nudity of their models.

Oh my god, he's actually serious about this. It makes me want to cry from the stupid. I pray that this man never breeds.

Let's step into my wayback machine. You see, a long, long time ago, saaaay.... 1994 or so, people still believed that video games were for children. And way back then, for any popular video game, there was generally an easy-to-acquire hack that would populate it with nude women. A little later than that, the risque Duke Nukem 3D contained strippers that would flash their highly pixellated nipples at you.

Where was the outrage then? There wasn't any, because people had their heads far enough up their asses to mind their own business. Now that they've slipped down into the lower colon because of a slipped disk in their spines, they're paying just enough attention to be dangerous.

The real danger is this: "cooperating, gleefully, with the mod community to turn Sims 2 into a porn offering."- another quote from that lawyer bastard. Here's the problem. The modability of a game is a selling point. Half Life, while a fantastic game, made its big money because of a little thing called Counterstrike, a mod on that game engine. The entire Quake line of products is barely playable- but an avid mod community has made those games interesting and salable because of innovations they made using the technology.

What they're attacking is not the game manufacturers, but the mod community itself. The mod community that is the lifeblood of so many titles. This is akin to suing Paramount because of "Star Trek" slash fiction.

If people fucking took an interest in their kids and didn't expect their PersonalPlayBoxCube Entertainment Center to substitute for a parent, this wouldn't be an issue. Hell, fucking sit in the room once in awhile when your kids play their games, and maybe you won't think it's such a good idea to buy your eight-year-old a copy of GTA for their birthday because "their friends have it".

One last thing. Some kid could go onto the intarweb and download a patch that turns a videogame into a pr0n machine. Or, they could visit one many sites that would offer them the pr0n they seek with little more than a click of the mouse.. All of those sites I just listed are free, require no age verification, and are very NSFW. Well, except for Google Images. Safe-for-work, so long as you aren't using it to find porn, which it does a very good job of doing.

Now, use your head for a moment. Are your kids going to install a stupid patch to get very low-quality adult content, or are they going to yank it to hours and hours of ten second clips and medium quality jpegs of every fetish and perversion known to man, readily available on the internets?

I'd cut this, but it's a goddamn rant, and I post so infrequently you can scroll past it.

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