How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy (t3knomanser) wrote,
How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy


I went to Bjorn's Celdih today, the big bardic event for the SCA in this area. I entered the bardic competition even though I hadn't actually practiced a single piece- but Oleg the lost scored the requisite chuckles. While the judges were scribbling down, I broke out Meructio while a young lady who turned out to be the Queen's Bard broke out a harp- we had a jam session, and it sounded great. Later on, she comes over and says, "Hey, I was really impressed. Have my token," so now I have a nice steel Viking Longboat charm. Two events, two tokens from well respected bards, I'm feeling pretty good.

I got a couple of SCA story ideas while I was there- one would be a retelling of the story of Emperor Norton the First of the United States of Mexico and Protector of Mexico in a medival setting- Emperor Norton the First of all Christendom.

The second I've already written some down:

In the time of this tale, the Duke of Essex was a scurrilous man, full of greed and other vices. In his employ, he had a Monk, to keep his piety and educate his children, a Scribe, responsible for keeping his books and recording his feats, and a Scholar, handling matters of the law and maintaining the Duke's library.

The Duke feared that another noble would hire them away from him, and so, complained to everyone who would listen about how slothful and foolish the three of them were. In truth, each man worked when the sun rose, and kept working until the tallow had been melted away, and each of these men was wise in their profession.

Since no one would be willing to accept any of these three because of the Duke's lies, they were little better than slaves to him; he lowered their wages again and again, and gave them more and more work, even requiring them to work as stablehands when it suited him.

Frustrated by these affronts, the Scholar stormed into the chambers of the Scribe and the Monk one day, declaring, "Enough of this! The Duke uses us as he sees fit and does not reward us for our labors! We are all learned men; if simple peasants can make their fortunes as Scoundrels and Vagabonds, then we too can do the same, and because of our intelligence, will be far superior! Let us take to the forest and visit vengeance upon the Duke of Essex, and find profit in it!"

The Scribe leapt up, excited. "Yes! This is the plan that we need. We are all wise men, and can surely find better ways of banditry than a simple peasant! And I can chronicle our adventures and gain for us public sympathy, like unto that of the famous Robin Hood!"

The Monk frowned. "I have taken a vow of poverty, I care not for riches, nor for prestige."

Ignoring his pleas, the Scholar and the Scribe grabbed him by each arm, and brought him with them into the forest, where they set up camp and set about the work of being bandits.

#Their First Crime

Around the campfire one night, the Scribe announced, "In doing the Duke's books, I know that he has leant a large sum of money to Philip the White, who is due to repay the loan at week's end. If we were to ambush him and take the money, we could earn what we deserve and visit harm upon the Duke."

"Of course!" The Scholar cried. "This is why we, learned men, will be the most dangerous and famous bandits in all history! We will use our knowledge to create an ambush that none can escape!"

"I do not feel," said the Monk, "that such crimes suit me. I will return to the Duke's palace at day break."

"We will have none of that!" replied the Scholar. "Do not consider this a crime. We all know that this money constitutes usury, which is strictly forbidden by the church. By making this theft, we are really doing the work of our Lord and Savior, sparing the souls of the Duke and Philip the White from sin!"

The Monk kept his reservations, but agreed to aid in this task.

The next day, the Monk, the Scholar and the Scribe approached the road to the Duke's palace so that they could lay their traps.

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