Psycho uberdepression. The unreasoning depth of just self loathing that slaps itself down on me from time to time. It wasn't brought on by anything specific. It just ripped into me with a vengance and kept ripping. Still is.
I hate myself. There's no logic to it. No reasoning to it. I just despise myself with a passion. My MP3 collection revolts me in my mood.
Went to the RPI players party. Any other night I probably would have enjoyed it. But tonight... I loathed it. I don't even know why I went. It was instinctual. Something in my head told me to go... this deep drive, so I went. It was horrible. I was bored, and sliding in and out of this depressive state. Not exactly party material.
I want to beat the shit out of myself... but I'm a bit too wussy. Just slapped myself good, but hey...
bleh.... I'm sick of my whining.