How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy (t3knomanser) wrote,
How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy

Mmm mmm... Bottled Water

I have gotten in minor tiffs with waiters over the water they give me in restaurants. When I ask for water, I have certain expectations of source and quality.

I fucking expect tap water that doesn't cost me anything. I have no interest in being handed a $1.25 bottle and an empty glass. I'm more than happy drinking the damn tap water.

Part of this is that bottled water is bullshit. (This rant was in fact, induced, by "Penn and Teller: Bullshit", which ran a segment on it) I've always felt as such- it certainly didn't taste any different to me. It's fucking _water_ for chrissakes. I cringe every time I'm dying of thirst, and there's no water fountain in sight, and one of those goddamn water pushers hawking bottled water.

Bottled water is possibly the only thing more annoying than sports drinks. Hey, guess what- when you're thirsty, and I mean really thirsty, you know what the best thing to drink is? _Water_. Purple goo that tastes like diseased urine is needless. You want to "rebuild electrolytes"? Have a fucking sandwich. You want to replace what you lost while working out? Food and water will do it. *gasp* In fact, people who drink large quantities of soft drinks, including sports drinks, are more likely to suffer from kidney stones. Those "electrolytes" are dissolved salts- and they hit your kidneys and come out of solution. If you don't drink enough just plain water to redissolve them, you get the joy of passing a rock through your urethra. Enjoy, fuckhat.

  • Strange Things People Say About Me (to my face)

    Recently, I've been at the center of a trend. That trend is complete strangers asking me "Are you ____?" A quick summary. For example: Are you…

  • Writer's Block: If I could find my way

    -10,000 years, at minimum. Tomorrow is always better than today, especially when you can't fact-check.

  • Bob Morlang

    When I was working at Tri-Mount, we had these camp trucks. They were army surplus, and while they could take a beating, they only sort of worked. And…

  • Post a new comment


    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded