The two cards to either side are the distractions, things that could deter me on my path. My own creativity is the first- I can get distracted by the thousand and one good ideas, and never get the basics taken care of. The other is my own arrogance and self-suredness.
I had been kicking around the idea of undergoing the Chaos Monasticism again. I've done this before, performing the lesser and most of the greater obsevances. The effect on myself was amazing. After that tarot reading, I've decided to do it again, and this time, I'm going to do the Extreme Observances. I'm not sure about the third extreme one: Visualize the Sigil of Chaos at least once during every hour (including when I'm asleep). It's something to try for.
I'm going to embark on my monasticism starting next Monday. We're visiting Cate's fam for Easter, and I don't want to explain why I always have a large staff with me. It's just be annoying.
The goal here is not Enlightenment. I'm looking for Unlightenment. I don't want to access a "higher self" or "nobler ideas", or be any better than I am right now. I want to be _more me_. The goal of Unlightenment is to be more yourself than you were yesterday. I am an amazing and powerful individual, with a mind like a laser. I want to be more like that. I want to be more forceful, more creative, more of a jerk. I don't want to choose light over dark- I want to choose Self over Not-Self.
Amusingly, the techniques used to work towards Enlightenment are similar to those used for Unlightenment. It's really only the goals that differ. At any rate, starting Monday, and running for Twenty Five days (five fives!) I shall be embarking on the Chaos Monasticism, hoping to be slightly Unlightened.