Kristin and I went our seperate ways that evening. She was tired from doing things like setting chain-coffee bars ablaze. I was confused, wondering when I stepped out of the real world and into Fight Club. As I took the subway back to my apartment, I swore if anyone brought up "Project Mayhem", I was out. Hell, was I even really in? I mean, already, I had been complicit in an act of arson. Someone could have been hurt... no one was, mind you. Kristin had been watching the building for a few weeks, and Saturday nights at eleven, the building was empty.
And hell, could I really think that there wasn't some good in what she did? Sure, it might be one Starbucks out of millions, and they were most likely insured, but think about the resources that were tied up as a result. Think about the lost revenue, the endless investigations into the who and why. Then of course, there was a twisted irony of the thought of an insurance company office being damaged. Maybe even destroyed as thoroughly as the Starbucks.
But then again, was taking arms up against a society that was ill the right method? As good as it sounded, it was wrong, wasn't it? It's just something that isn't done? Why not? Who says so? After all, it was society that told us not to hurt it, and indocrinated us into those beliefs. It would certainly be nice to see things different. A world without Wal-Marts or Starbucks, or Microsoft. A world where Halliburton goes bankrupt because a grassroots startup develops an effecient fuel cell car- and gives the design away for free.
As I rode in the subway car, being josteled about, I started listing things that were wrong in the world. The first, and most obvious, was copratism, or as I heard it said once, "the corporate plutocracy". Companies ran the world, not people. And that's not just political conspiratory theory. Which nation has the strongest effect, in fact, an unbalanced effect in world affairs? The US. The war in Iraq proves that. The US, and the US alone, drove that war, and even when it comes crawling back to the UN, requesting support, the UN gives in, like some spouse that just knows her husband only beats her because he loves her. If the US controls world politics, who controls the US? Well, it being an elected democracy, it's the politicians. But how do those politicians get elected? Publicity campaigns, which cost money. And where do they get that money? Some from their party, some from individuals that support the canidate, but the lions share, the millions that make a modern campaign possible- come from corporate interests. So when it gets near relection time, how do the politicans stay in office? They get more money from large companies to finance their campaign, and use advertising to get sold into a position of power. So who controls the politicians? The major companies that finance them. And it's easy to see corporate interests being handed choice pies, with things like trade treaties that make it impossible for foreign corporations to be tried under local law- ie. a US company is subject only to US law. Or even the companies like Halliburton, who are exempt from any criminal or civil charges for any actions taken while rebuilding Iraq.
I looked around the subway car. Down the aisle was a bum, who had jumped the turnstile as I was going through. Above his head was a banner advertising a car lot on Staten Island- and it's brand new set of Hummer H2s. I sighed.
That wasn't all of it, was it? No. Look at the way personal freedoms were being destroyed. Like the PATRIOT act. Or CAPPS. All these things that say, "Let us spy on you, if you're not a terrorist, you have nothing to fear, and if you're protesting these acts, then you obviously are hiding something." Soldiers in airports. Bag searches to get into any public building in the city. I mean, I had to have my backpack searched when I went to the library to do some research last year when I was still in college. Is this right?
No, I shook my head, and stood up, leaving the train. As I exited, I grabbed what loose change I had on me, and gave it to the bum. The subway stop was a few blocks from my apartment, and getting out into the air helped me relax alot. I still knew I wasn't going to be getting any sleep. Had things really gotten as bad as all that? Bad enough that rebellion was needed? Perhaps, but it couldn't be mindless rebellion, rebellion for the sake of rebellion. After all, what were we going to replace the system with once it was destroyed.
I knew one thing for sure, I wasn't going to be killing anyone. That was something I could never be comfortable with. I shuddered, and realized I probably wouldn't get much sleep tonight. Hopefully I'd be awake by noon, so I could get to my one o'clock lunch with some friends Kristin wanted me to meet- her quilting club.