How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy (t3knomanser) wrote,
How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy

Peace with a Stick

This is my stick | (oooh... one character ASCII art... bow to me!). I will take my stick (|) and use this stick to promote good behavior. You see, there is a lump of shit on the end of my stick.

Now, I know what you are saying, "What good is a lump of shit on a stick going to do?" And it's a good question, to which I have a good answer. You see, we can't have everyone running around with shit on a stick. That'd be bad. I mean, think of the smell, right? And what happens if two people get angry at each other, and start hitting, and beating, and making with the violence all using this shit covered stick. The mess!

Okay, so now, here's the plan. If I see anyone else running around with shit on a stick, I am going to beat them with my shit on the stick. I've got a few friends with shit on a stick, and they're cool. And man, we've had training, we know how to use this shit on a stick. Bam diggity bam.

Okay, but like, since everyone knows that we're on the lookout for shit on a stick, peoples going to be concealing their shit on a stick. You know? Like, hiding it in their pants, or their backpacks, or even experimenting with rubber sticks called "dildos" and putting them in the source of all shit, the "asshole". Now, we can't let this happen. So if someone even looks like they're hiding shit on a stick or like a dildo up the ass, we've got to beat them with our shit on the stick.

And you see that dude with a carrot? Ignore him.

Why did I hear Strongbad saying that? It certainly came out in a Strongbad voice. I can see him doing that too, that's the silly part. Maybe I should email it to him. And don't give me none of that crap about Strongbad being fictional. Anyone who types wearing boxing gloves has got to be real.

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