She's Angeliz, i don't know her real name, and I don't care. I call her Lizzymuffins, Lizzybunnykins, or all variety of terms of endearment, it's just kinda fun to play. She's been doing a wonderful thing for me... asking alot of questions. I mean, she's working towards being a shrink, which of course is usually an abhorrent profession, but she knows the questions to ask, and that's really what it's about.
When you ask someone a question, they might surprise themselves with the answer. That's the idea. I've been surprising myself alot with my answers. I'm sure it infuriates her, because I know i'm unclear, and I'm contradictory, and sometimes downright... beffudling.
But she's really been doing a great thing for me. She's a good friend, a wonderful verbal sparring partner, and fun.
And she's... special.
Here's to potential my friends, we've all got it in gads, and none of us ever use all of it, but sometimes our interactions can do amazing things.
Remember friends... FREEDOM.
I love you all. For now, I'm comfortable with myself. It'll pass, always does, but for now, I can say that I'm happy with who I am, when i can look at it objectively, and see the beauty, not in the pure whiteness of being cleansed and "holy" or some crap, but the beauty that comes about from the interplay of light and dark.
Wabi is a concept that comes from the japanese. Basically, perfection is static and dead. A perfectly fired clay pot may have all of the best traits of being a clay pot, but being perfect, it lacks character. Wabi is the flaw in something that gives it character, and THAT'S true perfection. It's like the boy who refuses to give up his favorite pair of jeans, even though the knees, crotch and ass are worn through. He sees the wabi, the character in the flaws. The clay pot with a bubble in the glaze that makes it unique. Our scars, physical and emotional (i've got enough of both) are the wabi.
I've been rambling alot, but Liz, whether or not you read this...