How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy (t3knomanser) wrote,
How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy
t3knomanser

  • Music:
Sent to my former emotional rollercoaster Beth:

Boo.

Wow... mysteries of mysteries, after all this time (a few months is _ages_ in my universe) and an awkward reunion at the players party, Remy decides to email you.

Is it because he just refuses to give up and die like a good little infatuated prick? Is it because he has some twisted masochistic curiousity? Perhaps he's just being friendly? Maybe he realized he missed you? Maybe everything in his life started coming to pieces and he felt as free to turn to you as you turned to him.

I leave all that for you to ponder.


Who knows, maybe we'll start talking again. That could be neat. Well... assuming AIM ever worked, but then again, there _is_ email. Anywho... I should have said this awhile ago.

The last time I visited you at RPI, when you were fresh back from break and lonely, I had a great time. Of course... you suddenly became scarce. I know, things got wierd for you, yada yada, but it made me realize that things had always been lopsided with us. I, like a moron, would drop everything to have you over, or go running over to you. That was all my fault. But.. after that... I felt... _used_. Disposable even. A tissue is a rather apt description of how I felt. Wipe the tears, catch the snot, and into the wastebasket.

Was that your intent? I don't care. I mean, I don't even know why I'm doing this right now. It's not about an apology, or "Oh! BAD Beth! BAD!" No, actually, I think this is simply all about the fact that things ARE falling down around my ears and I need to start getting out those things that ail me.

There's that, but there's also the fact that for a bit, when my hormones weren't clouding things, that we were good friends. I LIKED being your friend. So that means right now, I miss you. And just as I type this, Motorcycle Drive By starts playing again.



So how does this sound? Forlorn friend? Psychostalker? Just totally random and poorly timed? I don't know. But it's nice to just be venting things out.

"I don't believe you, \you're so serene, \careening through the universe, \your axis on a tilt, \you're guiltless and free. \I hope you take a piece of me with you"
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