March 7th, 2002

run the fuck away

(no subject)

Sarah is having a bit of a panic attack, because she's now become convinced that 'Manda has decided that she's a bad person and everyone else will be convinced of this as well, and her friends will go *poof*.

Unfortunately, it's really hard to convince Sarah that reality doesn't work the way she thinks it does. She's set herself up in a universe where she's doomed to fail- but at least she knows what's coming. This leads to almost perpetual debates over... everything. Daily. Last night it was that she was allowed to wear heels and did not have to always dress functionally- she could dress for looks too (she was of the mind that it was wrong to be feminine).

  • Current Music
    Soul Coughing - Maybe I'll Come Down
run the fuck away

Repeat after me...

Remy does not have to get the last word. Remy does not have to get the last word. I do not have to get the last word. I won't put in the last word.

I don't really... just gotta override 21 years of instinct.
run the fuck away

"Knowing Evil Will Prevail"

I'm putting off dishes, because there's alot of them. Instead, I'm going to philosophize. Actually I'm not- trust me, you don't want to read this. If you do, then it's your funeral.

Let us presume a battle between good and evil exists. Evil must needs win. Why you ask? Simple... evil has an infinite continuum of posible action, almost any act can be evil in the right time and place. Good suffers from a restriction- to "be good" there are a limited set of acts that you want to do.

To be evil... you can do anything. You can even do acts that would be good, and still remain evil. Evil, in terms of just plain evolutionary desireablity, is far more able to survive a war that Good. It's like roaches.

Of course, you know what makes this funny? The mythical battle between good and evil. Which doesn't exist. That's like saying there's a mythical battle between the rain and snow. Not to mention, the way we handle good and evil is like saying the snow is preferable to the rain. However, it still rains on the just and unjust, and it will, hopefully, continue to rain with more frequency than it has as of late. This drought is getting rather nasty.

So here we are, and you find yourself wondering what this whole thing was about. Why did I post all of this.

It was an experiment.

An excersise if you will. To see how many words I could use to say absolutely nothing. A few more experiments like this and I'll be able to write political speeches in my sleep. I told you you wouldn't want to read this.
  • Current Music
    Bella Morte - As Heaven Sang
run the fuck away

(no subject)

President Bush announces Victory on the War on Dishes.

In a Press Conference today, President Bush announced that our troops could return home from the kitchen fields of Apartmentstan- the dishes had been routed, and their leader, the evil Osittin Benn-Hardened had been scraped off the face of the platter.

Yes, this day Dawn(tm)s with Apartmentstan in Joy- the dishes have been vanquished. President Bush thanks the American people for their support and elbow grease in this time of crisis, and asks that we take a moment to remember all the sponges that are not coming back from this battle. Yes, unfortunately, 8 sponges and 3 special forces scrubbies were lost in this operation, but they will be remembered as American Heroes.

President Bush closed his press conference saying, "We won this battle because of American Ingenuity, American Pride, Courage, and Toughness. We won this battle because God is on the side of the Americans."

This unfortunately is wishful thinking. There's at least another load of dishes to go. BAH!
  • Current Music
    MC Hawking - Why Won't Jesse Helms Just Hurry up and Die
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(no subject)

Yay new userpic. There's a much bigger and better picture that I snagged this from... maybe I'll post it later.
  • Current Music
    they might be giants - jessica
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(no subject)

I just watched The Shawshank Redemption for the first time. I feel wonderful.

I love movies that make me feel wonderful... wonderfully what doesn't as much matter. It's just that degree of feeling that really snags me.

And... I talked to 'Manda. It was civil. We communicated. I got up and left the computer because... I'm not sure why. Part of it was that it was long. Part of it was that I wanted to do other stuff (like watch Shawshank). What was the rest? I'm not really sure. Part of it is that previously my way of dealing with unresolved 'Manda stuff was inconsequential... I just didn't think about it, and when it became an issue, she went away. Now I actually have to either deal with it or cast her out of my life.

So I'll deal, it's what I do. If there's one thing I can do, it's do stuff. I excel at doing stuff.

So it goes, so it goes.
  • Current Music
    Silly Wizard - The Blackbird
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Look I'm vain

Another LJ userpic, modelled off of the same snapshot as before. The dangers of Remy and a digital camera...
  • Current Music
    silly wizard - The Auld Pipe Reel-The Brolum
run the fuck away

Half Truths

I've been speaking a great many half truths as of late.

Why? Cause a half truth is better than no truth at all. Even when I say things I personally disagree with, they're still half true. Part of my personal confusion comes from trying to hold everything in my head at once. It hasn't worked yet. I can't be everything, but it's so enticing I can't help but try. Everything and Everyone. That's my goal.

Or is it? I honestly don't know, but it sounds good. As of late I've been getting increasingly schizoid. I've had distinct schisms in my persona. I'm trying to reconcile this, and reincorporate everything into some sort of coherent whole, but I'm having the worst time of it. No, this isn't the worst time of it I've had.

In fact, I've had much worse. Come to think of it, this is rather mid scale for me. Wow, that makes me feel better about the whole thing. I haven't had a major schism for two or three years.

But have you ever had those occasions where you're watching what you're doing, don't want to be doing it, but do it anyway? That rather vulgar dream I mentioned sums it up nicely- I'm doing stuff I don't want to be, and for no reason other than that I can't stop, and am enjoying causing the pain.

And eventually, I realize what is happening, and become not just dimly aware that this is not what I want to be doing, but acutely aware- and also aware that I have the capacity to change my actions. It's an odd feeling to think that you can't choose your own actions.

I've matched my will against the people that would abuse me, the people that would control me, the spiders that claim my creation, demons from my own mind, but the one thing that my will can't dominate is myself.

Speaking of, I've got an appointment with the local Sidhe tonight. They're pissed at me, and rightly so, I've been completely incommunicado lately, and whatever forces of unrest there are in Troy, they've been getting stronger while I've been gone. That, and the assasination has gotten no closer to solved. Oy vey. This sounds so day to day, doesn't it? Bah.
  • Current Music
    megadeth - Megadeath, Rust In Peace...Polaris