February 12th, 2002

run the fuck away

I am the vulture, coo coo ka choo.

Sometimes, it seems to me that chance and timing have the largest influence in my life. A terrible many things have been the matter of split second timing that... well, if not for the ability to leap without looking, I wouldn't be who I am today.

I'd also be signifigantly less scarred. But posh and fie upon it, I like my scars. Not to mean I strongly wish to repeat the experiences mind you, but I can affirm their existance. In fact, repeating them would be a denial of their existance, a highly un-ubermensch thing to do.

I am the untermensch. Once I light a fart and get enough of a blast out, I can be the ubermensch till my gas runs out.

I have no idea what it means to be me. I love it. I hate it. It's terribly confusing. I sometimes feel guilty, because I achieve things that every one else wants to, or thinks about achieving, and I don't succeed because of superior skill, greater determination, but simply because I have a knack for being in the right place at the right time?

Is it fair? The universe is completely fair. If it has happened, it was fair according to the laws that govern the universe. Now, in your own personal microcosm, that's a completely different story.

I have to be honest, after hearing about a few of the other people that have had interests in Cate... I find myself wondering, am I the right man for the job? For the moment... yes. In the next? We'll see. We'll see.
  • Current Mood
    crazy
run the fuck away

Comprehension...

Seems to be lacking. Communication issues between 'Manda and myself... are about as messy as they ever get. No, not the messiest I've seen really. No one is screaming for my head. That I know of anyway.

We've moved into such completely different paradigms. So much so that the world view each of us uses is known as heresy by the other. Yeah, in my personal religion, the one that renoucnes heresy, her style tends to be considered heretical.

I live, I thrive on making the universe bigger and more complex. She's hurt because I'm happier than I've been in a long time, but... it becomes this whole matter of "that was then, this is now." I've changed, she changed. Back in my freshman year in college, we linked wonderfully. For that time, for that place, for that Remy (v 2.3), she was the perfect compliment.

But there have been many versions released, the beta of version 5.0 came out in October, and the release of v 5.2 is now publicly available. All these changes, all this time passing... these new experiences.

I've changed alot, and I'm starting to see more places to change. Stasis is death.

Stasis is Death.
  • Current Music
    Prodigals - Alchemy
run the fuck away

(no subject)

Oh, and as a side note- the number one reason for total brutal honesty in my LJ-

So I can be honest with myself.
  • Current Music
    James - DVV