January 28th, 2002

run the fuck away

(no subject)

My parents always used to assault me with the parable of the man who built a house upon the sand, and the man who built upon the rock. Of course, the one who sets up on a firm foundation is the hero of this tale, for when the storms come, his house remains because he built on the solid foundation.

A philosophical treatise on being set and unchanging. Posh. I ask, why build a house at all? Even on the rock, the house eventually tumbles, but my tent keeps me dry, the fire keeps me warm, and I can be at home on sand, on stone, and home is someplace I'm never not.
run the fuck away

(no subject)

Troy... is... gorgeous. I'm feeling so... alive and artistic. It's absolutely wonderful. Today I swung past the Art Center and picked up an open call brocure so that I can try submitting some artwork. I hung out in the square, sitting underneath the statue of Athena playing my violin. Elicited a few smiles. I think I may make more of a habit of it.

I need to swing past the Troy Public Library and get myself a library card. I went in there today and was bowled over by how beautiful the building is. I mean... oh jeezus, it has stained glass everywhere, and the rear stacks consist of "Fireproof Shelves" which are all steel and the floors of the upper levels are five inch thick glass, which diffuses light, not blocks it. Which means the floor kinda glows under you. And it's such tight quaters, it's like a blanket of books.

Speaking of blankets, that's what I want to be. Sarah and I were talking about alot of the guys we know, and how a great many of them are the rabidly defensive type, and to a degree, blindly defensive. This came up as we noted anyone who strongly dislikes me does so mostly as a response to my history with 'Manda. They're all leaping forward towards a threat, and responding like a knight in shining armor.

I on the other hand, don't want to be a knight in shining armor. I want to be a big, thick, fuzzy blankets. I'm somewhat partial to vellux blankets myself. Sure, they tend to slip off the bed, but they are the most cuddling blankets you'll ever find. And that is a fact.

Tomorrow I'm going to go back towards the Art Center, because today I noted that across the street was a placement agency. Maybe I'll track down a job. Today I sent my resume to be a program director for the Boy's and Girl's Club. I figure with my camp direction experience, I'd be well qualified, and it's something to do, and it pays pretty well (35,000+ per annum). Not a vast salary, but for someone living alone without a house, that's pretty good.

As I was out walking, I saw an apartment for rent.. 8 room flat. Sarah's up for moving (lots of landlady conflicts lately- the landlady is a total bitch). We'll have to talk to Dennis, check the price, and if its cheap enough, see about who else we can get to move in with us... maybe Jen. If it's cheaper than what she's got now, that'd be kinda cool methinks.

Anywho, that was utterly mundane day-to-day stuff. So now for some philosophy. I've got a new goal. I'll post it later, since it deserves its own post, and I know that I tend to skim over really long posts involving day-to-day stuff.
run the fuck away

(no subject)

I am a threat to the American Way Of Life. Why? Becuase I want something Better. Not just better, but capital-B Better. I will settle for nothing less.

And I am personally against World Peace. I'm all for not wiping ourselves out with weapons too big for our planet, being that I'm not interested in glowing in the dark or being vaproized. But the fact of it is, War is Good. It is chaotic, it is lethal, it is... tasty. Imagine a warless world. Imagine where our population would go... we'd run out of space rather fast, even with an enterprise of space colinazation. And there's no place else to farm in the solar system as of yet, and it'd be decdes before we could ever do that. So we'd also run out of food.

There is one way to World Peace. Have a worldwide population density of one person per square mile.

So, witness the Irony. I absolutely love people. People are wonderful. I walk the streets and watch them, smiling at each of them. Yet, at the same time, I support war making, not for the sake of war itself, but because of the effects it has. It causes Chaos, Confusion and Discord, and those three things cause a society to Grow. Barely stable systems break down into stable systems. I can't stand instability. And any system which is at its core unstable must be dissasembled and revamped... the dissasembly is Chaos. Rip it apart, put it back together into something else.
run the fuck away

My Philosophical Goal

Now however, for my new philosophical goal.

As I was walking around Troy today, I saw all these great images. The way the buildings angled up above me. I want to start doing art programs of things... man made things. I want to create awe, fear, and reverence in the most religious sense for Mankind. I want people to cower before the greatness of what they and people like thme can do.

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run the fuck away

Ramblings... lyrics? Wanna be poesy? Just plain bad?

I am the man who kissed the moon,
I am the man who died last June,
I am the man who never was,
And I am everything you wish you were.

Whispers sweet,
And sighs so dear,
The vapor is what I recall,
And hollowness I hear.

Words are fleeting,
You went fleeing,
From my life,
My love,
My liberty, and happiness.
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