November 13th, 2001

run the fuck away

(no subject)

Okay, as I was going to bed, kinda standard cleansing, etc stuff. And guidance image based sorta thing...

I was drowning, like 30 feet deep in a tunnel of ice leading upwards. I could see sunlight through the ice above, and so I rear up, and swim as fast as I can, using bouyancy, my muscles and determiniation to drive myself up at the thin spot at the top of the tunnel (only wide enough for myself), and I kno that if I don't rbeak through, with all this force, I'll fail and drown.

I slam into it, with everything I had behind it... and it cracks. A little. Not even enough to provide a finger hold or an air hole. Nothing. Desperate, I plant my back against one side of the tunnel, and my feet against the other, attempting to realign my position and maybe kick the top of the tunnel open- anything, I'm drowning.

And suddenly... that pressure of trying to reorient pushes NOT THE TUNNEL open, but splits the entire ice covered lake in HALF, with almost no effort. The ice splits in two, the tunnel is forgotten, and I breathe.
run the fuck away

Awake!

My hands are dirty, my arms are scraped and I'm dying of heat, despite being in the outside cold. Just a few minutes ago, I fell up a tree. Because, as anyone who knows anything knows, gravity reverses when you stand at the base of a tree. You can't resist the urge to grab onto one branch, and you rise, and then the next branch is so enticing that you cannot avoid cresting all the way to the top of the tree.

I missed that tree.

It missed me too.
run the fuck away

Fury

Fury at taking the easy way. Rage courses, I can't stand what? Myself. I can't stand myself for trying to weasel out the easy way. That's not to say that the hard way is the right way... but there are shortcuts, avoiding the issue and whimping out. I excel at these. Why? Because it's easy. I take the path of least resistance, and that always leads one way, downhill. Sometimes that's where you want to be, but not when you try and get to the source of the river, which is always uphill.

Struggle, strife... these are the things that improve us. Fear... is natural. But we must move onward, upward.





And it ROSE! (The men cheered, the women swooned, children waved multicolored banners and the band played the appropriate music).

This installment of angst has been brought to you by the number 7, and the letter D.
  • Current Music
    System of a Down - Snowblind
run the fuck away

Hrm...

Need to see Fight Club again. Not just because I'm in a Tylerish mood, but because it actually has some opportunity to relate to my classwork in existentialism.
  • Current Music
    Jimmy Eat World - My Sundown
run the fuck away

Hrm...

Wow... I changed some desktop settings, and all of the sudden, one of my odder looking wallpapers that I made has become... really trippy.
  • Current Music
    Weird Al - Pretty Fly for a Rabbi