To show off a bit of useless, not-really-Star-Trek-Trivia-But-Really-anyway I'm just going to expound on "Ra-Beem."
First off, Peter David, author of HULK, among other comics, is a major Sci-Fi fan, and has written what are, in my opinion, some of the only Star Trek related literature worth reading. He wrote Imzadi which was the tale of how Riker and Troi got together originally, with alot of really interesting Time Travel goodness. Anywho, the Betazoids have a philosophy known as Ra Beem.
Basically, Ra Beem means, "I understand." When someone comes to you with a problem, you shouldn't just leap right in and try to solve it. Often, that's not what they want. What they really want is for you to understand thier problem, to understand them. Sympathize with them, but don't coddle them. Accept them, but give them room to change. It basically boils down to loving them.
For a long time, I've removed the heart from my worldview. Right now, I'm reinventing, rebuilding. I've lost alot, and just gotten it back in a rush, and I don't know what to do with it. I've got some really important good things back, but I've also gotten some dangerous traits back. It's time to grow up all over again. Time to keep the best parts of the Child Remy, but temper that out with experience. EXPERIENCE, not CYNISISM.
I can't help but have an outlook on life where I see everything as essentially good. Even the bad things. Today in philosophy, we were discussing Nietzche's eternal return. Basically, the entire universe is a circle. Time loops around and around, and you are doomed to live this life again and again, eternally. Everything that happens is bound to happen again and again. And for Nietzche, this si a good thing. It has glorious potential. But someone asked about stuff like the Holocaust. How can we accept a world where those things are doomed to happen again and again?
And while I pray to god that those things never happen again in this cycle, I can accept that they must and shall happen each time the cycle repeats. I don't see anything wrong with that.
Is that heartless? Is it cruel? Or is it just a realization that bad things happen, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I think I need to take some time and accept the universe as it is before I go editing it rampantly and willy nilly. I'll keep up my monastasism of course, but I'm going to lead my rituals in more of the self-improvement/divination direction. Enough swamping my web design prof with chaos vortexs. I'm going to take this time to use magick to bring myself closer to those people around me, not further apart- not moving myself away from them to further my goals. There will be a time to go out on my own, but now is not that time.
I'm going to learn to accept the world. I'm going to learn to accept myself. I'm going to learn to grow gently, and not in rampant spurts. I will be cautious, but open with the people around me. I'm not going to run around changing shit for right now.
And I'm going to ask that those of you that know me in person, and that those of you that read this journal, that you all watch me. And don't be gentle when you see me doing something that you think is an error. I may disagree with you, but at least let me know that I'm doing something off. If I have a valid argument... let it slide, but if you think I'm full of shit, just make it very clear, in fact, go, "Remy, you're being a pancake." Pancake is going to be my keyword for being a total idiot.
*gasps* Remy is leaning on other people for support? Wierd...