April 27th, 2001

run the fuck away

(no subject)

Well... this is now an odd thing.

Two people who are very close to me have just signed up for LJ and tracked me down. They started thier own journals. great community building, right?

Wrong.

I have an odd fixation. I can meet someone, and tell them things that I have a hard time admitting to myself. Random strangers, if they are interested, they can learn all the details of my life. All my personal guilt trips, my mental twists, my fears and hopes.

But when I get close to someone, I... stop. I know, it makes no sense, but... the closer I am with someone, the more afraid I am of sharing my thoughts.

Having Amanda and Sarah on LJ kinda... well, I'm going to still be as honest as I can, but to be frank, it makes me vaguely uncomfortable.

Reread that sentance until it seems funny. Trust me, it IS.

I've been feeling very magickal as of late. There's... resonances tweaking about... dynamistic change? Generally, whenever I feel twinges, it preceed change. I think I'm going to attempt to focus these twinges on ensuring that the new dorm is done on time (I don't want to have to live in a triple if I can help it.)

Alot of times, the biggest qualification of my "dream" girl was someone that I could just drop everything, all the defenses, and stand in front of her emotionally, psychically and humanly naked. And have her understand... (and despite my 'bisexual' ranking, my tastes still verge much more towards the femine, there's been very few guys to interest me). It's just a matter of being able to just go "blah" about everything, without struggle and without strain.

For awhile, I thought I could do that with Beth. But that ship sank. So blah...

You all get to be the recipients of my emotional "blah", and you can just sit there and like it.
  • Current Music
    Sublime - What I Got
run the fuck away

(no subject)

Judy Chicago is an... interesting artist. I don't know if I like her work or not.

On a side note, I have a pet peeve. I notice that about campus, people tend to hang signs to recognize other people's birthdays. In high school, people would decorate lockers in addition... and you know what?

It annoyed the hell out of me. I think it's stupid and asanine.

So whoever hung those signs for me- you know who you are, even if I don't, you better feel horrible about youself for a few minutes. Feh.

At least you had the Cat in the Hat on it... just for that I'll be really nice and wear my hat and coat around tomorrow despite the weather.
  • Current Music
    Everclear - Father Of Mine
run the fuck away

(no subject)

Good morning world.

Can ya smell the day? Oh wait no, that's the tea tree oil I'm using to clear up this nasty skin thing. Don't confuse tea tree with tea... bleh... that'd be unhealthy.

I'm feeling... there today. I've been going through this kinda primal animalistic thing from time to time, where I just want to drop down on all fours and run about, leaping from tree to tree, and not using words. It's just... fun.

TIM comes home on tuesday. Long story short, good buddy tim; his family moved away to California, and he ends up going to college in Utah (BYU, they're mormons, whaddaya want?). We all miss Tim, but he comes to visit last summer, and he spent it hanging with us and crashing wherever he was getting put up, and we all loved to put him up. And then, he was faced with the choice of going away and loosing contact with the world for two years when he went on his mission, or going his own way...

So he's moving back on May 1st. Gonna get an apartment, prolly with our good buddy Ben.

This summer's gonna rawk.

There wasn't nothin' wrong with the way she moves, with scarlet begonias and a touch of the blues

You know what else?
My life is really dull on a daily basis.

Rob Brezny is the Second Coming

The second cumming of WHO, we'll never know.

Pun intended
  • Current Music
    Ben Folds Five - Brick
run the fuck away

(no subject)

On another note (I can never seem to get it all out in a single post, can I?)

I lost my rock. I was walking along yesterday, and this little river polished hunk of calcite screamed out "take me home". Without even thinking, I picked it up and started carrying it. I had it in my hands most of the day and I just remembered where I left it!

I dropped it at the housing lottery, and it rolled under this girl's shoe. I decided to just wait till later and I forgot about it. Hrm... maybe it'll find it's way back like that staff I had once... that think couldn't be gotten rid of even if you wanted to. I'll recognize the rock, I put silver paint on it in funky patterns that only I do.

Crazy or a mystik... who knows or cares?
  • Current Music
    Ben Folds Five - Brick
run the fuck away

(no subject)

Hey look... my room has become crafts central... 'Manda brought her book binding project over (for her Convivum class).. and Sarah's doin... something.
  • Current Music
    "Mother Jugs and Speed" a bad seventies movie my roomie is watching