Don't attempt to carve a bridge for a violin out of balsa wood, using naught but a coping saw, a pocket knife, and sandpaper. You produce sawdust and some uninterestingly shaped pieces of scrap.
More resumes out, more phone calls made, but no close to the job.
As a result of lots of sandpaper, my thumbnail is now oddly shaped.
Grumble, merka, and thwerp.