Lets go back in time a week, where everything was a'ok hunky dory, I was (still am) madly in love, in a relationship that was quickly proving to potentially be the most stable and enjoyable one that I've had in years. I was happy. I had gads of energy to devote to whatever task I wanted and the time to explore it. Everything was going my way.
So right there I had to do something to jar that. Without even thinking about it, I was breaking down stability- it's habitual. So I took it upon myself to IM Amanda, wondering what she's up to, and if the ban on conversing with her had yet lifted.
Well, we all saw how that turned out.
So that tad of subconscious pattern breaker in me had to take advantage of this. It motivated all sorts of conflicts, creating all sorts of really nifty and completely false reasons for them. Well wasn't that just plain shitty of me.
Well, it was, but I'm not really going to feel shitty about it. I don't have it in me to feel all guilty over it. Suffice it to say, I'll stop. I'm kinda longing for that idylic thing- I'm just so terribly unused to it. Besides, I've still got all sorts of problems to tackle without pissing people off (as much as I get a twisted pleasure out of it, it's not the most self sustaining of practices). An unsolved assasination remains out there, some demon marines need to be trained, a rapist needs to be destroyed, I need to find a way to make my art pay off, I need a job.
Another note- when 'Manda first cut off things, I decided that the best thing to do would be to pull her off my friends list and get to know her from a 0 level, since we were so radically different... This past few days adventure has been my 0 experience.
::pushes reset:: Let's try that again, shall we?
So suffice it to say we're changing our programming back to the happy, insightful Remy, and not Dorian Gray played by Remy. Though Dorian Gray died cool.
This has been a public service announcment in the name of Shutthefuckup (this is targeted at the entire world, myself included- Shut the Fuck Up for the next 30 seconds and listen).