I think what it reall is..
is that I can't quite let go. Inhibitions- fear of failure. That's a big one.
I fear being misunderstood.
Bah. Enough. Today was a busy RP night... stuff happens. Sim fell through, my WW campaign ran slow (we were interrupted by a kindly gent that was a siena alum and wanted to ramble about the good old days). Which actually... that guy... yet another thing missi did to annoy me. She was downright rude to him. She kept using her body posture to send out signals of "you aren't welcome" because she was afraid of losing valuable RP time. She gets really snitty whenever things aren't going according to her plan. Like at the player's party, she got really pissy during the opening ceremonies, which consists of awards and inductions and skits and the like, complaining "This isn't why I came here." No, she came so she could pick up a random guy and dump her boyfriend over it.
Which reminds me... Missi berserked yesterday. I had a roll of tape, and we were all together. Like, everyone we hang with at Siena but Seamus practically. Well, Liz lobs the tape and it lands between missi and me, and we dive for it. I snatch it away, but her hands are on it and it turns into a tug of war. Well, that's all cool, I mean, all in fun. But then she snaps. It becomes this insane drive, she has to get the tape away from me or be less of a person or something. At the same time, my instincts knew it was turning into a power trip, and in matters involving Missi, I never want to give her even the illusion of having any control in her dealings with me- because she doesn't. Maybe it's mean, but frankly, I don't like her behavior, so she has two choices- be around me and deal with my attempts to modify her behavior, or avoid me. Anyway, she snaps and starts clawing. At one point she bites me and draws blood. It got me almost to the point of honestly beating on her, but instead, I held her in a headlock till she calmed down.
After that though, the night improved greatly. The entire entourage piled into three cars and travelled over to Sushi King in Troy. It's not really all sushi, but japanese cuisine. Bit on the expensive side, but it was a nice restaurant, and had good stuff. We ended up exiting in a good mood and we enjoyed the rest of the evening.
Any other useful weekend updates?
I can't remeber how much I've said about the park... maybe later. I'm not in the mood to sound like a maniac.