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t3knomanser's Fustian Deposits

Teriyaki Duck-Bacon Udon

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Mad science gone horribly, horribly wrong(or right).

Teriyaki Duck-Bacon Udon

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Podlek
It's been awhile since I've posted a Remy-trademarked recipe, so I think we're about due. This one might sound a little odd, but bear with me. Based on my experiments, when served to a date, spouse, or other willing victim, this will increase your chances of getting laid significantly. The ingredients might be a bit tricky to come by, but this is entirely worth the effort, I swear.

Remy's Teriyaki Duck-Bacon Udon - Serves two

IngredientComment
8oz of duck baconThis is the hardest bit to get, probably, but it forms the core of the meal. D'Artagnan is a pretty awesome food brand- rabbit, venison and duck are their staples. Their duck bacon is uncured, which means no nitrates, nitrites, or anything else that might upset the more sensitive stomachs among us. It's a bit pricey and it produces a lot of oil. It's also delicious.
8oz of udon noodlesThis should be pretty easy to find in any asian import store. Fun bonus recipe: bukkake udon.
Sesame oilYou're only going to want a spritz of this; the duck bacon provides more than enough oil for the meal. I also used "Mongolian Fire Oil" which is a spicy sesame oil.
One medium sprig of fresh basil, hand crushedDried basil would do, but I don't know how much you'd need. Basil is very strong, so be careful with this. Don't add too much, and you could easily get away with none.
Two teaspoons of mixed garlicThere are very few recipes that aren't improved by adding garlic. Maybe someday, I'll invent a garlic cake
Four or five Baby 'Bella mushrooms, slicedBaby portabella's are probably the most useful and versatile mushroom you can buy. Like garlic, they can improve almost anything.
1 cup of mixed greens, or moreI used baby romaine. Anything from fresh spinach to mÂche will do. It'll cook down nicely, so don't be afraid of using too much
2 tbl. spoons of unagi tareThis is the teriyaki sauce I used, which is intended to go with eel (unagi). Again, should be gettable at any Asian import store. Any other teriyaki sauce will probably do. You'll be flavoring to taste, but this is about the amount I used.


Fill a 2qt saucepan with water, and set it to boil. Add udon noodles and leave boiling for about 15 minutes.

While the udon boils, fry up the duck bacon in a large wok. This is oily and splashy. Simply lay the stips out in the bottom of the wok, let them fry for a bit, then flip. You're not stir frying yet, so don't go swishing the bacon around in the wok. Depending on the size of the wok, you'll be best off going for three strips at a time. As they finish, set them aside on a paper-towel covered plate to drain. Cooking all of the strips should finish well before the udon.

Once the bacon is done frying, remove the wok from the hot burner. You've still got hot oil, but we don't need to burn it. Add a spritz of sesame oil (and the fire oil if you've got it) and the minced garlic and the basil. Let sit until the udon finishes.

When the udon has been boiling for fifteen minutes, strain in a colander and rinse with cool water. Heat the oil back up and add the udon. We're now in stir fry mode, so keep stirring for the rest of the time. Add the unagi tare, stir. Add the mushrooms. Stir. When the mushrooms are starting to get tender (should only take a few minutes) add the greens and the bacon. Stir. Once the greens are cooked down and the mushrooms are tender, you're done. Remove from heat and serve into two large bowl. Serves two.


Seriously, I can't tell you how awesome this recipe is. No matter how hard it is to track down some of the ingredients, it is worth it. Even if you need to hack your way through the jungles of Cambodia and kill an army of Viet-Cong with your bare hands for the last package of duck bacon on Earth, it would be worth it.
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