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t3knomanser's Fustian Deposits

I'm such a jock

How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy

run the fuck away

Mad science gone horribly, horribly wrong(or right).

I'm such a jock

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johnny cash
I'm gonna hit that ball out of the park. Pulling that off was a hail mary. It's the ninth inning and bases are loaded. It's yet another sports metaphor from Management.

It's not news, but it is puzzling. Sports metaphors from management are like red-splotched white shirts- they're both what you get from eating spagetti without tucking your napkin up like a bib. Or something.

Hey look, I'm rather punchy. Go me. Will wants to talk to me at 4:30, says it can wait if I want to bug out earlier than that, and I think I just might, because really, I don't want to loiter here for an hour.

At any rate, Pongat told me that it was of "the utmost importance that Hershey LOVES us from this class – so you need to help us and hit this ball out of the park." Okay, so he emailed me that, he didn't tell me that. And I cut and pasted it here. But there ya go. So far, Pongpat hasn't gone to such great lengths as the last owner, Tom Couvares, to make sports metaphors.

Hey, Couvares, remember how you always told us how wonderful Southwest Airlines business model was and how we should be like them at your ass-brained Franchise Fridays (nothing builds morale like forcing your employees to stay late on Friday so that you can parrot what you read in some management guidebook last week)? Well, good news. They're how I'm getting to Las Vegas in a few weeks. Doesn't that make you happy?

Hey listen, I've got an airtight alibi this week, so if anything bad happens at New Horizons, well, winkwinknudgenudgesaynomoresaynomore. I kid. Perhaps I shouldn't post this if I plan to fly anywhere- in fact, I'm concerned that I'm already on a no fly list. That'd be funny, wouldn't it? Hahaha. Fuckers.
  • That'd be a hoot. Sorry, Pongpat. Can't go to Hershey. Government thinks I'm a terrorist. Wonder why?

    Just behave yourself in the airport. Nobody wants to have to fish your bruised and dehydrated self out of a jail cell because some security guard was in a bad mood.
  • Yeah, you're gonna wanna go to Vegas. It's fun.

    Wait, how are you getting a trip to Vegas? And Why aren't you taking me?
  • Good luck. I say we should pull together an insanity plea in case anything goes wrong. Heck. That reminds me. I need to work on my own insanity plea. Monopolar generator technology suppression conspiracy theories anyone?
  • How about: They fired Chris?

    Yeah.

    How about that.

    -Greg
    • What the crap?
      • Dunno... That's what the 4:30 meeting was though. I stopped by and saw Ali and they had just dropped the bombshell.

        I'd imagine she'd have more info...

        -Greg
        • Not too much more though. "Doesn't fit in with the long term goals of the Wil and Tom's vision for the center."
          • Ish...

            The other concerning thing is that Bruce is the interim training manager.

            "Oh crap! It's Cartman with authoritah!"

            -Greg
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