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t3knomanser's Fustian Deposits

Forever

How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy

run the fuck away

Mad science gone horribly, horribly wrong(or right).

Forever

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run the fuck away
Forever. Far too mucking long.

I'm a very... INSTANT oriented person. I think of things in terms of the immediate advantage. Everything I do, I try to do because I enjoy the act of doing it, seperate from the end results (though the knowledge of end results can be really cool).

It works... mostly. I can't force myself to be foresightful. I've tried. I've tried the long term planning, and I've found that I'm just too changeable, and instead of trying to kill my chameleon personality and habits (which I think is a GOOD trait), I try and mold my life to fit the chaotic style in which I live it.

It doesn't work very well I've found. I like not having to agree with myself from one moment to the next. I don't see why this is a problem. Some people REALLY hate it though. I don't see why.

I cling to very few ideals, namely that FREEDOM is the highest ideal, and that some things directly aid freedom (information namely) are inherently good.

However... my chaotic lifestyle doesn't easily mesh into the standard life that most live. People think it wierd that I don't decide upon my evening activites till they arrive. This isn't to say I blow off comittment, if I say I'm gonna be someplace, I do everything I can to be there. But if I have a few choices to chose from (stay at home, medival dance practice, roleplaying) i won't choose till the last instant. Or more accurately, I won't COMMITT till the last instant. I may know which one I want well before hand, but I don't plan on that being what I want till the second of.

It's a killer on relationships, let me tell you. People have this funny thing about wanting stabilty, or at least the illusion of.

Screw that.

My music is changing my mood... yea Rage Against the Machine... (Killing in the Name)
  • I need stability, which I think you very well know. I think it stems from the fact I fear being ditched. But i do get ditched. Meh.

    I think people just want to know that something is going to happen so they can plan the event.
    • I guess it's really a matter of control. I'm very... contradictory when it comes to control. I really have no direction, and don't strive to achieve anything really, yet in social situations and group activities, I am a complete control phreak.

      How does this relate? It related better before I started typing... let me tell you.

      I LIKE having some things unplanned. I like being surprised by myself. I like twists, turns and confusions. I hate regimented, organized lifestyle.
  • It is not bad to not want to commit to anything until the time comes. It is WAY better than committing and backing out of it, or breaking promises. But if you don't believe in anything, are you anything?
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