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t3knomanser's Fustian Deposits

In response to that rant about Children's Books...

How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy

run the fuck away

Mad science gone horribly, horribly wrong(or right).

In response to that rant about Children's Books...

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run the fuck away

Billy was a young boy, alot like you. Unless you're a girl, in which case
he's still alot like you, only a boy.

Billy listened to music and watched TV. He loved going to the movies.

He went away to school, and they wanted to teach him to read.

He did not really like it. It was hard work, and the stories were boring.

His teacher forced Billy to read "Nelson the Rabbit eats a Carrot", and "Mr.
Green looks at Colors", and "Sally skates".

Nelson ate carrots. Mr. Green talked about some colors, like Red and Blue,
but not White or Black. Sally skated and ate whole grain bread to be healthy.

Billy told his teacher that he did not like the stories. His teacher was very
angry.

His teacher talked about how important it was. Everyone had to know how to
read. Reading could take you on adventures, and teach you things.

Billy looked at the books he was supposed to read. There were no adventures.
He certainly wasn't learning anything, except that Sally would not eat ice
cream.

The teacher sent Billy home with a note. His parents saw that Billy did not
like reading.

So Billy's parents went to school, and talked to the teacher. The teacher
showed them the books that Billy was supposed to be reading.

"What?" Said Billy's Mom. "Horrible!" said Billy's Dad. "These books are
terrible!"

The teacher said that they had been special books written for schools. There
was nothing in them that could make someone upset. But Billy's parents were
very upset.

That night, Billy's parents went home, and sat him on the couch, but without
the TV on. "We're going to help you learn to read Billy," they said.

Billy frowned. Reading was yucky. He said so.

"No Billy," said his Mom. "What they want you to read is yucky."

So his Dad took a book off of the shelf. "I'm going to read you a story
Billy. Not everything in books is like what your teacher wanted you to read."

The story Dad read Billy was called the "Tell Tale Heart," by Edgar Allen
Poe. At first, Billy was not interested.

But as his Dad read on, Billy grew more and more excited. It was a very
creepy story, about a man who committed a murder.

He tried to hide the body, but he heard the beating heart of his victim, and
became so scared that he admitted to the murder.

When his Dad was done, Billy wanted more. "I think that these stories might
be hard for you to read by yourself Billy. But I will read you one story
every night."

"In the meantime, take this book." Billy looked at the cover, and sounded out
the words. "Grimm's Fairy Tales" it said.

Billy went to his room and started reading it that night.

The next day he took the book to school with him. He was very excited, and
happy that reading was cool!

He was so proud that he showed the book to his teacher. His teacher gasped in
shock. "You can not read that in school!"

"Why," asked Billy. "Because people die! And there are bad things called
'sterotypes'! This is totally unnacceptable! Who gave this to you?"

Billy was taken to the principal's office, and sent home to his parents that
very day. His parents came to the school, and argued with the principal and
the teacher.

When they were done, Billy was allowed to bring his books to school, and over
the next few years, he read very many books.

He read about a stuffed rabbit loved so much it became real, and about a boy
who never grew up, and about a crow that saved the world from an endless
winter.

As he grew older, he read other books. He read about Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn
adventuring on the Mississippi. He read more creepy stories by Poe, and about
lions and witches in magical Narnia.

No matter what, the books he brought to school were disliked by his teachers,
but he read them anyway.

Billy grew up very wise, very happy, and he loved books. As a grown up he
owned a library, because he loved books so much. And whenever children came
to his libarary, he showed them his favorite books, and their teachers always
thought the books were bad.

But Billy looked around at all the people he grew up with that had read the
books his teachers thought were good.

None of them were wise, none of them were happy, and they never came to the
library.

All of the stories that Billy had read may have been "bad", but Billy learned
from those stories. And because of that, they were good for him.


It needs alot of editting, I know. But comment, revise. Tweak. I smell an underground publication waiting to happen.
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