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t3knomanser's Fustian Deposits

My boss sent this out. It's... too apt. In order to assure the…

How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy

run the fuck away

Mad science gone horribly, horribly wrong(or right).

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run the fuck away
My boss sent this out. It's... too apt.

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will
be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY
TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).


We are trying to give employees more (S.H.I.T.) than anyone else.


If you feel that you do not receive your share of (S.H.I.T.) on the job, please see your
manager.


You will be immediately placed at the top of the (S.H.I.T. LIST), as our managers are especially
skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.


Employees who do not take their (S.H.I.T.) will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION
PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).


Those who fail to take (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.) seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.)


Since our managers took (S.H.I.T.) before they were promoted, they don't have to do (S.H.I.T.)
anymore, and are full of (S.H.I.T.) already.


If you are full of (S.H.I.T.), you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your
name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.)


Those who are full of (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.) will get the (S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for
promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).


If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).


Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
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