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t3knomanser's Fustian Deposits

Random Idea

How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policy

run the fuck away

Mad science gone horribly, horribly wrong(or right).

Random Idea

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Religion
I want to make a trailer for a Jesus Resurrection movie. Jesus rises as an evil zombie, and his former apostles must put a stop to the undead horror before all of Israel falls prey to the growing undead horror.

Mostly, I want a scene with Peter slapping one of the other disciples, "Matthew, we have to! That's not Jesus anymore!"
  • I think it would be more in keeping with biblical teaching if it were Thomas to whom he said that.

    Is Judas some sort of Vodoun in this world?
    • Or is Jesus coming back to wreak vengeance on Judas?
    • I think it would be more in keeping with biblical teaching if it were Thomas to whom he said that.

      I told him the same thing- only I didn't remember that it was Thomas who had denied Jeebus three times to the tune of the cock-crow. Now I remember the expression "doubting Thomas," and feel dumb.

      There will need to be a cock crowing after the "That's not Jesus anymore!" line. All the zombies should wear crucifixes- we'll have a message, damn it!- and a hapless female victim should be the first person in history to take his name in vain, just as the pack of zombies closes in...

      *back into corner, point* JESUS CHRIST!!! *blood-curdling scream*
      • No, Thomas was the one that didn't believe the dead dude walking the Earth was Jesus until he saw the holes in his hand. Peter was the one that denied him to the cock-crow.

        So, you're both right, but for different reasons.

        The hapless female will of course be Mary Magdalene, who, in good schlocky b-movie fashion will be nearly nude by this point in the film.

    • Judas probably infected Jesus with the zombie virus, and kills himself from the guilt.

      I also envision a moment where the Pharisees are basically doing the, "There is no danger. We're not going to cause a panic over some impossible zombie attack." One of the apostles is arguing with them, getting emotional. One of the others grabs him and says, "Just give up! They'll never evacuate. Just get your family and get out of town!"

      "I have to try to help!"

      "Why?"

      "It's what Jesus would do!"
  • So, would he be coming back to feed on brains as per the usual motif?

    (No wait, that's just Christianity....)


    eliazar
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